Mourning
by vantas69
Summary: Everyone lives after the get together on the mountain, but they all lose connection with Josh. He's alone. Alone, and scared.


It's been three months since the incident with Joshua Washington's "prank" on the mountain they own. Everyone lived - barely - but most lost connection with one another; especially Josh. Jessica, Emily, Ashley, and Matt haven't spoken a word to him. He reminds them too much of what happened. They feel betrayed. Mike spoke to him once, before they were discharged from the hospital after the entire event. "You're welcome for saving your ass," he hissed. Mike risked his life to make sure Josh safely got out of the mines with him. He was pissed at him, sure, but he didn't deserve death.

Chris kept in touch, but only if he was alone. Ever since he and Ashley became a thing, they're inseparable, and Ashley wants to hear nothing of Josh. The only one who messaged him frequently was Sam. She did her best not to show how betrayed she felt. She thought she knew him so well, but she never could have seen this coming. When Sam recently found out that Josh had stopped taking his meds before the incident happened, she felt an odd sense of relief. Relief that his "prank" was his emotions going off edge, and not just him. But she felt more concerned than anything, because that meant he still wasn't taking them.

She made a plan with the Washington boy to meet up at a coffee shop they used to go to. Josh seemed hesitant, but obliged. Who was he to decline an offer from the only person who seemed to care about him? Sam said that she wanted to meet him as soon as possible, so they both headed out.

It was cold outside, but not enough to complain. Josh arrived early and waited outside of the shop for Sam impatiently. He's been wanting to do something, anything, to get him out of his house, away from his parents. But he was too scared, too unstable to go anywhere alone. After a few minutes she arrived, smiling at him. Josh couldn't help but smile, it had been so long, too long, since someone actually looked happy to see him. He went to wave to her but Sam pulled him into a hug, which startled him for a moment, but he relaxed and rested his face at the side of her head. He smelt her hair, it smelt like cherries. It had been a while since he's really felt close human contact like that, so he lingered a bit too long, which Sam noticed and pulled herself away.

"Sorry," he mumbles.

Sam cocked her head to the side. "What'd you say?"

Josh hesitated. "Nothing, don't worry about it. How have you been...?"

Sam let out a small sigh, shuffling inside and leading Josh into the building. "Alright, I suppose." She paused. "You know, it's just. Same old, same old." Josh nodded in agreement, and followed Sam to sit down at a booth. "What do you want?" The blonde questioned him. He opened his mouth, but Sam quickly closed it with her words. "I asked you to come here, I'll order and pay. My treat," she smiled. He hesitated again.

"Just a coffee," he says. "Black." Sam nods and heads off to get their orders. Josh watches her leave, then stares down at his lap. _What am I doing here?_ he thinks. _She must want something from me. There has to be a reason she asked me to come here. No one talks to me just because they want to._ Before he could think out any possible reasons Sam would want to see him, she comes back with their drinks, handing Josh his coffee.

"There ya' go, Joshie," she smiles. Josh grimaces slightly at the nickname, but not enough for Sam to take notice. It reminds him too much of his sisters. He nods.

"Thank you, Sammy," he says quietly. She smiles gently, and he tries to return it, but he isn't very successful.

They chat idly for a while as they drink their drinks, but it doesn't last very long, since it can't. Neither of them have done anything relevant since the incident, everyone has been too afraid to leave their homes.

But it was when Sam went silent that he knew his suspicions about her were correct. "Josh?" she asked, but her voice was different. Hesitant, quiet. Josh noted it.

"Yeah, what is it? What do you want?" His voice came off angrier than he wanted it to. Sam winced, and sighed softly before speaking.

"I... I want you to start taking your meds again," she says. She's keeping her voice as calm and low as possible, it seems. But after she said that, Josh is pleased at how angry his tone was coming out.

"Excuse me?" he growled. "I knew I shouldn't have told you about that."

"I'm glad you did," she smiled gently, raising her voice a bit. "But you're prescribed them for a reason. You need to keep taking them." She stared at Josh. He looked calm, too calm. And he knew it too. But his head was exploding, screaming at him. He's keeping himself as calm as he can, but his breath starts getting rapid. He stands up.

"Sam, I need to go."

"Josh, wait-"

"No, Sam, okay? I knew this wasn't just that you wanted to see me, I knew," he shakes his head. "Thanks for the coffee. But I need to go, I need to. Bye, Sam." With that, Josh pulled his hood up over his head and stormed out. Sam stood up to follow after him, but once Josh had exited the building he began to sprint away. Sam huffed in defeat, sitting back down, resting her face in her palms.

A couple of hours later, Sam and Josh are both in their homes; Josh feels his phone vibrate from beside him. He goes to pick it up, his hand lingers before he decides it's best that he sees who it is, in case it's important. It's from Sam. Josh reads the messages aloud to himself: "I hope you're okay," he whispers. "I didn't mean to offend you by saying what I said, I'm just worried about you." He sighs slowly, rubbing his forehead with his other hand. "Typical, Sam." His thumbs waver over his phone's screen, as he contemplates whether or not to reply to her, and what he should say to her if he does. Before he can decide anything, his phone vibrates again. It's a message from someone else. It's Chris.

"Hey, bro, are you okay? Sam told me about what happened. She's right, you know."

Josh growls in annoyance while he reads the message. He tries not to let this feeling overtake him, but fails. "Where's your other head?" he texts back to Chris.

"You mean Ash? She's asleep. What does she have to do with any of this?"

"Oh, nothing. Just that you never talk to me unless she's not around."

Chris doesn't reply for a few minutes after that. "Bro, everyone just wants to help. You're messed up and you need help, and the best way to start that off is to start taking your meds."

Josh bites his lip, and closes Chris' chat and re-opens Sam's. He sighs, closing his eyes for a moment before replying to her. "You're right, Sam," he texts to her. "I'm going to take my meds." There's an immediate response.

"Okay, Josh. Please be safe."

Josh gives out a low laugh when he reads her reply. He then stands and walks over to his dresser, pulling out his bottle full of pills. He stares at it for a moment, and then opens the bottle, the lid flying off to somewhere. Josh didn't care. He breathes in deeply, holding in the tears he felt begging to be let out. He closes his eyes and pours the bottle into his mouth, grabbing a water bottle and taking a swig out of it to help him swallow. He lets out a deep sigh and collapses into his bed, picking up his phone once more. He texts back to Chris.

"Hey, Cochise, don't worry. Everything is going to be okay. I'm fixing everything. You don't have to worry anymore." Josh starts crying while he texts, anxiously awaiting a reply. It doesn't come. _Ash must've gotten up,_ he thinks to himself. He lets out a small, pained laugh. Even while he's dying, his best friend won't reply.

Chris responds about an hour late to Josh's text. "Josh? What are you talking about, bro?"

No response. Chris waits about five minutes. It wasn't like Josh to reply slow to texts, at least from him.

"Josh, please answer me, are you okay? What are you talking about?"

Chris waits another ten minutes. Still no response. He starts to shake in bed, which wakes up Ashley. She yawns, sitting up and grabbing onto his shoulder. Chris flinches away from her touch.

"Chris? What's wrong?"

He doesn't reply to her, he just stares at the wall in silence for a few moments before standing. "Ash, I need to go."

"What? Where are you going?" Ashley asks, worry in her voice.

"I.. I need to go see Josh."

Ashley falls silent.

Chris lingers for a response from her, but he realizes it isn't coming, so he throws on a jacket and hops into his car, driving to Josh's as quickly as he can.

He doesn't bother knocking. Josh's parents are never home, and if he won't answer texts, he won't answer the door. He walks into the living room. "Josh?" he calls out, his voice shaking. He doesn't see him anywhere downstairs. He hesitantly heads up the stairs, seeing the door for Josh's room, open a tiny crack. He slowly pushes it open, seeing Josh asleep on his bed. He sighs in relief. He goes over to sit on the end of his bed, but he notices something on the floor.

A lid. Chris quirks a brow in confusion, before going to the other side of the bed, seeing the bottle and a few pills scattered across the floor. "No," he whispers. He quickly glances at Josh, who is unmoving. He rushes over to his side, checking him for a pulse. Nothing. "Josh!" he screams, trying to shake his friend awake. He's cold. Chris falls to his knees beside Josh's bed, holding Josh's head in his hands. "Josh.." he whispers, letting tears fall from his eyes. "Why..?"

He scans Josh's body, seeing his phone clutched in his hands. He hesitates, but takes the phone from him, unlocking it and reading an unsent message. An unsent message to him. Chris reads it aloud to himself.

"I'm just doing what you want, Cochise. I've always done everything you wanted. I love you."

"Fuck," Chris whispers to himself, dropping the phone on the floor, holding his face in his hands. "Fuck, fuck, fuck." He claws softly at his face, sobbing, looking up to Josh's lifeless face. "I'm sorry, Josh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

He stands, picking up Josh's phone and setting it beside his body. He stares at Josh for a few moments, probably longer than what could be considered normal. He lowers his head.

"I love you, too."


End file.
